Category Archives: Krazy Kiwis


It’s no secret that in a global economic crises, that it’s never been a better time for the rich to get richer. Warren Buffet (Goldman Sachs angel investor in the past) has repeatedly been saying this for almost a year now. Because the rich just keep on getting richer all over the world…

Perhaps this is why Lucy Lawless is starring in a saga set in Rome, that brings to an audiences attention what some wealthy people are prone to get up to. Slavery propagating culture could be what some are all about. Others choose to create Giving Pledge Trusts and give half their wealth to humanitarian causes, to level the playing field a little, and buy themselves some freedom. (It works both ways).

When the wealthy become disproportinately rich compared to the majority population, fears of their own personal security becomes their greatest concern. They can be a tad paranoid and they always favor a system of appointing jailers to police the people. This is what history has taught us. In such moments of history, gladiator culture then is a favored sport, where common people can rise above the ranks and win their freedom in a gladiator’s ring or sports field. They must win the popular vote to do this.

Yes, Lucy is really promoting this culture in her new fantasy drama.

Go here to read her words – for an education. Hollywood Maori actor Temuera Morrison also stands with this Kiwi girl of the small screen to bring us this tale. It is a tale Americans in particular are obsessed with right now.

I like the words of Paul The Apostle too on this kind of culture. His words are non-elitest, accessible to everyone and liberating! As actors Tem and Lucy are two of our all time Kiwi staples. They know how to turn on a show. A timely show.

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Aotearoa New Zealand, Polynesia Asia-Pacific 24.3.11~



When I first opened the Newspaper after returning from America for 5 years, this dude was the featured artist.

The story said, he was reintepreting “Colin McCahon‘s body of work.” No one can really interpret Colin’s work. It’s too deep on many levels, but this artist’s sense of cheeky chutzpah did make me smile.

One of his paintings, was called Taming The Colt. His artwork is very “Old McDonald had a farm.” E.i.e.i… owe.

I don’t know his name. If you know his name, add it in a comment below. By the way, eels are a Chinese delicacy. They need to be pickled though before China is interested. Some New Zealand companies are working hard at breeding eels in captivity to supply China’s love of baby pickled eels. I used to work for one company who were exploring this option once.

Ironically, eels swim up to Tonga each year to breed. The ideal conditions for eels are when water vibrates under the ocean due to volcanic activity shuddering. The ‘electric current’ vibrations in the water, signal to an eels brain, these are the ideal conditions to mate in. The eels in New Zealand make this swim to Tonga, every year. These days, with the amount of volcanic activity in the world, I wonder where eels are most likely to breed on their migratory path?

That was a free marine biology lesson today into pickled gold ecomonies possible growth and expansion in Kiwiland.

Oh… and May we always support the arts in the world. Woot! Keep painting!

[News source NZ newspapers].

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Aotearoa New Zealand, Polynesia Asia-Pacicic. 16.5.11~



Thank you for having me and sharing with me. I will come again. I hope you will too to Aotearoa New Zealand. All my love. Uncle Sam.

[Artwork - A Love Letter by President Ronald Reagan for First Lady Nancy Reagan in taking the time, to write in his own hand in conveying the love and appreciation in his heart - for those that most mattered to him. I will let Ronald's words do the thank you for US all].

Kia Kaha. Stay Strong. Remain forever well. Do not lose your torch of Liberty. The flame is in every Americans special spirit. Aroha and love always.

[Blog post no. 13,555 at the 3,087,964 summit of this blog's achievements from The Republic of California in our United States of Eureka [εὕρηκα heúrēka]. Mauri ‘Ola (Life to US) & Shalom!]

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 4.5.11. Especially for Team Elie, R.E and E.E, Elvira and Glendale and West Hollywood, California USA, my hood people. I love you. Photograph via The Shappell Center Exhibition Profiles of History. Oops, photo was a little bit shaky cam like a reality TV series filming. Sorry about that.~



An artist Natalie Stamilla has her Kiwi heart set on sculpting rugby football player Michael Niko Jones in a bronze statue. The artist aims to honor what Jones has gifted the game of rugby football, New Zealand culture, his worldwide fans and his West Auckland community, close to neighboring Helensville.

One of the most famous sports moments of Rugby World Cup history is when Michael dived across the try-line against Italy in the 1987 World Cup tournament to score. The photograph of this moment has captured the young sculptresses imagination and artistic talents.

It is ironic that someone who doesn’t really care that much for ‘graven image culture’ (like Hollywood loves to rock out with as US culture as a norm) and who is known for his great athleticism and cool calm strength veiled by restrained humility would agree to the sculpture even being made. He’s just so humble.

The moment perhaps shows Jones’ sense of humor to honor his team mates of rugby football of the game by green-lighting the project and what all Michael’s peers have given the game too, when Jones switched from basketball to rugby football. It was a rare sporting moment at the time and he brought his basketball reflexes to rugby football – changing the game with quick creative play. Jones is also a big star of South African people.

Michael’s mother Maina Jones was a vibrant school teacher who would always say she “loved Jesus.” It was just her line. Saying such things today, can get school teachers in trouble, but with Maina, it just drew her many fans closer in to her warm heartedness. In that regard, she made modern law scientifically irrelevant. Her life would never have fitted these restrictions. When she died, she had the second largest funeral of any New Zealander known in New Zealand history at her passing for a person who wasn’t born in New Zealand. She was a legend too.

Her bubbly laughter was like a well of joy. Her face was like the sun shining. She knew no fear. She loved all people. All of her children have her zest for life in fine doses and are equally interesting people who carry this one gracious lady’s spirit of excellence in leading others with laughter.

Because Michael has a living likeness named after him too, Niko Kirwan, (rugby football player John Kirwan named his eldest child after his legendary bro), the above fun pop art tribute via New Jersey, USA is going up for Michael’s Kiwi mum who mothered John Kiriwin too and her unique ability to feed peoples’ spirits while feeding them at her family table.

Honoring Maina’s legacy today from The Entertainment Capitol of The World, is perhaps what Michael, his sister Kathy and older bro Derek, would all want to see with this story. She was special. One out of the box.

Maina was her childrens’ and Michael’s biggest fan and she was 200% rugby football obsessed like most Kiwi moms are. As a sport, she loved rugby football. We all miss her enthusiastic contribution to a sporting nation. Her faith was bright shining as the sun.

Talofa Michael Jones! God is always with Michael and his brother Derek – The Matai (Chief – one of them) of us all. Stay close.

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 4.3.11~



Present. Future. Past by Flight of The Conchords folk music humor on guitar.

I don’t if it’s the Kiwi sense of humor or the Maori sense of humor with these two lads, but they sure can make me laugh til I cry in Hollywood.

Funny blokes.

[Note - This is Live theater that may or may not contain explicit language]

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.27.11~



Alright today in Hollywood I notice that Gypsy no.5 pins its fashion retail sales hopes on a ‘white horse’ billboard. The photograph was snapped against grey sky backdrops on La Cienega and Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood CA 90069. Good luck to Gypsy no.5 with this marketing lead, a tribute (perhaps) to violet-days of National Velvet Hollywood cinematic history as well as emerging world trends. Cute billboard marketing.

We also celebrate today with an art portrait snapped by Kiwi-American artist-fashion emerging star, Miss Tessa. Hopefully I’m forgiven for sharing this picture as blogging on a budget Hollywood paparazzi-o today. :) Probably not! However, sharing is art so I’m going with it. I first saw Miss Tessa creating artwork when she was 16. Her work was a giant mural for dyslexia awareness, so she’s a good one. Art for good causes is not a bad start in the art world. A charity benefitted from Miss Tessa’s first exhibited work. She exhibited at a cross-cultural red carpet film event depicting Latino actors being filmed in Christchurch, Canterbury – the Garden City.

Years later this city would be struck tragically by earthquake devastation. Both Russell Crowe and supermodel Rachel Hunter offer commentary on how to help this city.

Anyway here’s 5 things you’re looking in Hollywood on a day where California said farewell to a legend in Dame Elizabeth Taylor being laid to rest beside Michael Jackson. These five things are -

1. Dita Von Tesse‘s twitter couture for Marie Claire Russia is out there

2. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie film make together offshore for a change.

3. Movie script premise, conspiracy theory spooky humor – World Bank and US

4. Black racism by Miami police needs a word in oil slicked recovering Miami

5. Basketball fans humor – All Stars Unite – Kobe Bryant, Jay-Z & Beyonce

Bonus Post 1: US at the box office – I Am China by Jayden Smith & Jackie Chan

Bonus Post 2: Paramatta Eels footballers are saving Ireland’s traveling youth via Fiji in Aussie land

Bonus Post 3: MAORI HIJAB KOROWAI CLOAK Leadership – Like Maori legends who walk for justice

Hollywood Media Outlets covering Dame Elizabeth Taylor’s epic contribution to Hollywood culture and the world today as she crossed her finishing line too are - E!Hollywood NewsHollywood ReporterAccess Hollywood;Hollywood.ComET OnlineDeadline.ComCelebrity GossipYoung Hollywood.

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.24.11~



It was a very sweet idea for the New Zealand Postal Service to issue a range of “lick me” products, for customers of a royal theme to send their mail with.

Unfortunately, you can try your darndest to be sweet, but sometimes genuine mistakes, muck ups and bungles happen, as this story shows.

The pack, which sold for $19.90, was released this week but included the wrong birth date for the prince in the text.

Instead of the correct date of June 21, 1982, the pack said Prince William was born on May 21.

The mistake was not on either of the two $2.40 stamps of Prince William and Kate Middleton released yesterday by NZ Post but in the text of the presentation pack.

The “lick me” products go on sale again in packaged form, when the error has been amended. What a crazy country at the post box! Love it. Getting mail for months with royal wedding paraphernalia stamps is a Kiwi tradition. Go here to see that in effect. :)

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.23.11~



כִּֽי־יָ֭דַע דֶּ֣רֶךְ עִמָּדִ֑י בְּ֝חָנַ֗נִי כַּזָּהָ֥ב אֵצֵֽא׃

Otiia e mohio ana ia ki te ara e anga atu ai ahau: kia oti ahau te titiro iho e ia, ano he koura ahau i toku putanga mai.

But he knows the way that I take. When he has tried me, I shall come forth like gold.–Job, The Mystik – being refined under pressure.

Not to be outdone, by supermodel of the world, Rachel Hunter, Oscar winner Russell Crowe is sounding the trumpet too, for the special city of Christchurch.

the part Maori actor in this YouTube video message, ”At 12.51 on February the 22nd, Christchurch, a city that my family’s called home in the past, was ripped apart by a violent earthquake.”

“Christchurch continues to hurt,” Crowe’s message says.

Christchurch is a city that reflects us all in duress and crises. May this special spirit rise to achieve the full potential of purpose that it’s been gifted in the fire of adversities, tested greater than the purest gold or the strongest iron, to lead the world with new things.

In case you missed it, Rachel Hunter‘s message is a real pearla too. She glows… adding to this special spirit rising from the Garden City’s rubble that Russell rightly notes, fosters and ignites in this video.

This spirit is brave, noble, big-hearted, proven and above all resiliently strong and compassionate. Go Christchurch. Thanks Russ.

Russell Crowe’s Hollywood Star, (The Maori version featuring The Legend of Maui motif), via this post. This news report via The New Zealand Herald.

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.22.11~



One for the children’s, children’s children in thinking about issues that affect the planet.

This one for Russian dolls worldwide… in reality. :)

When these lads sing they’re like a cross between Nesian Mystik and The Bee Gees. Issues is a Kiwi equivalent of John Lennon‘s Imagine song.

Nah! But almost. They’re rogue unicorns and cheeky monkeys. Love it.

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.19.11~



Reports The New Zealand herald today, Flight of The Concord‘s star Jemaine Clement‘s ‘appeal to fans and photographers continues in the United States with his latest project alongside mega-stars Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones in Men in Black III, which sees Clement’s character travelling back in time to kill Agent K, played by Jones.

Riveting casting. A time traveling Maori-Kiwi with Smith & Jones. Now that’s some firece hot chocolate casting in Hollywood. Nice one!

[Photograph courtesy of the NZ Herald too].

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.19.11~



The Cottage Cheese Cottage of Albi (the racist dragon) deserves some airplay today. Here’s the lads of Flight of the Conchords with a jellybeans hobbit folk song hit. It’s very Chelsea Handler humored, yet done with more talent and finesse, of course…. on guitar. Enjoy.

1. Jemaine Clement

2. NASA’s Geoff Chester

3. Costco Romance really should be a Katherine Heigl rom com movie title, no?

4. The fear in California that lurks beneath a tsunami moon tide secret monsterous fear

5. Nesian Mystik are very US

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.19.11~



“We get on terribly. I can’t stand him. No, he’s great. He’s really quiet and shy and sweet,”– Melanie Linskey has said of her work with Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men.

She’s a funny girl. For more on Melanie Linskey surf her Hollywood bio at IMDB.

[Pic of Linskey's ink via Drink Wine Around The World blog]

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.18.11~



Sometimes when a singer sings, they not only pierce the air but they pierce hearts with their beautiful sound. Singer Hayley Westernra talks about singing for Christchurch City, her hometown that is rebuilding after earthquake devastation.

Click on Hayley’s pic to be wowed. Lyrics to this hym originally penned by a slave trader in unenlightened times of world history, named John Newton (1725-1807) who wrote this song once he had an epiphany of how gibbing others in order to profit, was wrong, follow:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

[TVNZ news footage screen cap photo- A grandmother listens to Hayely sing the words of this timeless hymn at Hagley Park Christchurch City]

T’was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
‘Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.18.11~



Reports Zimbio today: ‘Frustrated with attention from fans and photographers, “Flight of the Conchords” star Jemaine Clement, splashes those surrounding him with water from a bottle he was carrying. Moments later an upset fan seeks revenge and douses Clement with hot chocolate, soaking the actor/musician’s coat.’

Jemaine looks like a cross between Sir Peter Jackson and beat poet Allen Ginsberg on his way to a guitar jam session in The Big Apple. Poor funny guy. Hope this Kiwi hairy hobbit is all good in the US of A.

In Los Angeles, Jemaine has a huge following of quirky humored appreciating people. He’s a big star here in the 50 and under set. I always feel like such a loser when I repeatedly get asked if Jemaine Clement is a Facebook friend, and have to say, um “nah.” :)

Kia ora bro!

(March 15, 2011 - Photo by Bauer Griffin)
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.16.11~


I have to behave myself here. :)

But it must be said, when you look at this photo of an Aussie and a Kiwi playing a cricket match for Christchurch City this weekend in Wellington where The Hobbit‘s 3D production HQ is, that the question must be asked in bold:

So WHERE IS Elizabeth Hurley EXACTLY when she’s most required to watch a charity cricket match for EARTHQUAKE survivors?!

How insensitive of Liz NOT to turn up to THIS cricket match… of all the days!

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.13.11~



Growing up playing rugby football, I never thought I’d see the day where somehow I’d get to blog in Hollywood (woot!) about rugby football coaching legend Graeme Henry hanging out at a cricket match with The Gladiator/ Robin Hood Oscar winner guy (Russell Crowe). Yet today is that surreal collision of Kiwi childhood dreams converging into this one photograph by Mark Mitchell. For more photos of Russell, Graeme and friends, go here to view these lads in action for Charity cricket for Christchurch City’s rebuilding effort post the quake in Wellywood. A nice gesture.

Graeme Henry is the current coach of the New Zealand All Blacks rugby team, a football team most people in the world have heard of and like. Graeme’s always as laid back as a Tararua cheese TVC. He’s a dude.

Voted in Hollywood today, here’s our top ten trending celebrity, entertainment and news posts on a day where we are all conscious of earthquake survivors in Japan, Christchurch and Tsunami survivors too. Peace!

1. 80′s music commentary – Herbs with Maori anthem of Nuclear Waste wisdom

2. Fukushima Iwaki Japan vacate 170,000 people in nucler meltdown precaution

3. Amber Rose before the storm

4. Tsunami & Quake Watch – Japan in 3 pics – 3.11.11

5. No waste – fashion recycling keeps it real – Michelle Obama is measured

6. The Bush family have a budding writer via Christchurch

7. Hollywood Vegas cellulite bikini confessions by Holly Madison & Kim Kardashian

8. Virginia bootleggers movies are a new theme in Hollywood reflecting the times

9. Friday by unknown artist Rebecca Black

10. Best Sports People of 2010 – Social Media votes via Twitter results

Writes Reuters of this Satellite image of Japan post the quake and tsunami – This one-meter resolution satellite image of Fukushima Daiichii Nuclear Power Plant in Japan, right, was taken one day after an 8.9-magnitude earthquake struck the Oshika Peninsula on March 11, 2011. According to news reports, this is the largest earthquake to hit Japan in recorded history. Analysts believe the powerful earthquake moved Japan’s main island eight feet, shifted the Earth on its axis four inches and unleashed a devastating tsunami. The image shows extensive destruction to buildings, vehicles and infrastructure. Entire regions have been flooded, swept away or reduced to ruin. The image was taken by GeoEye’s IKONOS satellite at 10:36 a.m. (local time) on March 12, 2011 from 423 miles in space. The image on the left is a satellite images of the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant taken by the GeoEye-1 satellite on November 15, 2009. - Washington Post for REUTERS.

People on a rooftop await rescue in Kesennuma, Miyagi Prefecture -Reuters

Cricket spectators support Christchurch’s earthquake relief fund by attending a charity cricket match in the nation’s capitol. That’s the humanitarian spirit! LOVING IT!!! Go Kiwis. Pic via NZH.

With 10,000 people missing in Japan’s hour of need, we can help by acting with faith and hope. Go here to make a difference if you’d like to. :)

Music today – Commonwealth Anthems from Kiwiland, backstage with Crowded House performing at Live Earth Day Australia. There’s a new star on our watch older than us all…. it’s the Earth. The more aware of the earth we are, the better we will all be. This rousing performance reminds us of that. Much love from the City of Angels today. Kia ora Russell and Graeme! Mauri ‘Ola…. Life to US!

USA Media outlets raising awareness about the people of Japan too in this moment our earth’s watch are: AmericablogAndrew SullivanBAGnewsNotesBloggingheadsBoing BoingBrave New FilmsBuzzFeedPeek (Alternet)Political AnimalPolitical Capital (CNBC)Political WireRaw StoryRedstate.orgSeeing The ForestThe Swamp (Chicago Tribune)Swampland (Time)TalkLeftTalking Points MemoTapped (American Prospect)Taylor MarshThat Minority ThingTruthdigThink ProgressThis Modern WorldWashington Whispers (US News & World Report)WonketteThe Young TurksRoger E. HernándezChristopher HitchensRich LowryDick MeyerJohn NicholsJack ShaferRobert ScheerLynn SweetBrian TillGeorge WillMichael WolffPBS NewsHour. Nice one!

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.13.11~



Two Maori greats, comedian, Billy T James and producer/ director Don Selwyn once had the daunting task of educating their country folk on correct customs etiquette. Here’s their blast from the past as a reminder of how far we’ve all come in such a short space of time on the cultural customs front.

Both gave a lot to their beloved nation, to get it up to speed on the culturally more relaxed and real fronts. Using comedy as their tool, they once combatted archaic values, masking as superior culture. This is how they did it. They were the culture doctors. My cuzzies and I grew up watching these lads. This is how we do it. Enjoy.

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.12.11~



“Put that woman in an air-raid shelter and let the bombs rain down. Then she’ll understand what trauma is.”–Kerre Woodham is clearly not a nation’s best agony Aunt in crises moments. Perfect for the booze industry as a pin up person though. Somehow, I think Kerre’s editor set her up. Not THE BEST TIME in the world for this untimely opinion piece. Again, Kerre comes across as looking like a muppet puppet.

Thankfully, she has a history of being 99.5% funny behind… her.

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.12.11~

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Posted by horiwood on March 12, 2011 in Kerre Woodham, Krazy Kiwis, Tragedies



He said “You have survived the last two worst years in American history, economically in 100 years. What an amazing Australian you are.”

I said: “I am not an Aussie. My brother is. I’m a Kiwi. Thanks.”

Clearly, Americans need to travel a bit more. :)

Alright, pictured here is Graeme Hart of Kiwiland. He’s a Forbes star every year and has a brills smile. He started out in life as a truck driver. Woot! The entertainment and celebrity news posts most voted by you the people today in the Hollywood hood follow. As always, thank you! Enjoy.

1. Model citizen – Christopher Chandler

2. Aaria music as Art in Hollywood

3. Teen mom, Jenelle Evans

4. Enrique

5. Jennier Lopez has never heard of Ryan Adams

6. Dwayne Johnson is The Rock of Hollywood

7. New York City’s crazy is beneath the surface in tense times

8. Smart Water – Jennifer Aniston makes a video

9. The Stowers inspire

10. A Wikicoup? Regardless, Julia Gillard shines

In people that inspire some more, news – Businessman Graeme Hart is still New Zealand’s richest man, despite dropping 41 places on Forbes magazine’s annual rich list. Mr Hart, 55, was ranked No 185 on the American business magazine’s latest list of world billionaires with a net worth of $US5.5 billion ($NZ7.46 billion).

He was ranked No 144 last year, with $US5.3b. Mr Hart, once a tow-truck driver, owns investment company Rank Group, which runs a global beverage packaging business.

All power to truck drivers doing well is one of his many good messages. Hart managed to make $200 million more this year. Clearly, he’s a bit nuts.

Other celebrity and entertainment news bloggers blogging Hollywood too in the USA are: E!Hollywood NewsHollywood ReporterAccess Hollywood;Hollywood.ComET OnlineDeadline.ComCelebrity GossipYoung Hollywood.

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.10.11~



Key oil cities and rebels of Libya sporting denim, take the front page of The New York Times today.

In money news, Steve Jobs stars on The Wall Street Journal, making a reappearance for Apple. I suppose some people are never allowed to retire. A week ago, Jobs was called upon to advise President Obama regarding direction for the employment sector involving IT. This week, steel, oil are the main stars of WSJ’s news. Oil control, fossil fuels, continue to be the no.1 topics on money-power minded peoples psyches. Green energy is the future. It’s easier said than done, but leet’s try and work towards lives less dependent on fossil fuels.

Hollywood entertainment and celebrity news posts voted in our top ten today worldwide are:

1. Sammy Hagar‘s story of surviving Van Halen‘s debauchery debuts at no.1

2. Celulite bikini bodies are okay by Holly Madison & Kim Kardashian

3. Moods - Benjamin Franklin & Te Kooti Arikirangi Te Turuki quotes

4. William Shakespeare on Hollywood stars

5. #Tigerblood – Charlie Sheen clocks up 1 million Twitter followers in a day

6. Justin Bieber gives Paparazzi “the bird” – 3.2.11

7. Christchurch City farewells community members in artsy ways

8. Billy Ray Cyrus & Miley Cyrus turn out a tabloid show

9. US Media love devoting column inches to Charlie Sheen ridonkulousness!

10. Angelina Jolie‘s statement for Libya, Tunisia, Ivory Coast, Afghani refugees

Some other bloggers worth checking out too that also have a Kiwi persuasion in blog content and tone are:

Idle Vice - she’s long gone but her blog is still better than most of the gobshite around. Was more bitchier in her day than Cactus Kate. Juha’s Techsploder. It’s like a lot geeky…. in a different way from Jimmy Jangles, of course. K – is for Kiwiblog. The blog I read everyday. Life and Politics – come on down Jake! L is also for Lance Wiggs. If your site sux, he’ll tell you! M – there is no M. If M from James Bond was blogging, she’d get it regardless of being British. NotPC – Likes beer and fine design. Thinks he can change the world by using rational arguments…. O – Is for Oarsome and also the The Optimus Prime Experiment. It’s about that famous Autobot Leader but not really. And its mine!” List Via The Optimus Prime Experiment. Enjoy the Lol fun surfing experiment on these blogs. I did.
Bonus Kiwi Blog link - P – is for Poneke. The dude is a bus spotter and he rocks. Where’s our post on the Auckland strike?

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.3.11~



[Martin Hunter photographs Christchurch for Getty Images, as seen in the New York Times.]

Aotearoa New Zealand has found itself in our darkest hour reports many news sources from around the globe today. This is being taken from a report from the nation’s leader, John Key.

“We could be facing New Zealand’s darkest hour,” Key said after arriving in the devastated area of Christchurch City’s business district following an emergency meeting of cabinet ministers. This story has been reported on via Saudi News, The Hindu, Trend AZ Oceania Nations, Horseracing MSG News, Earthtimes, Weather Bug News, Malaysia Sun, All Voices, 24 Dunia, New York Times – Asia.

[Photograph - Mark Mitchell, AP]

Reports The Telegraph, Australia – “New Zealanders are among the most resourceful people on earth. Separated from major global capitals by even greater distances than is Australia, and limited in international market opportunities by its tiny population, New Zealanders were forced to become do-it-yourself nation-makers. The same enterprising mechanical skills that kept old Vauxhalls and Fords on New Zealand roads long after they’d been abandoned in other countries were applied across the board. New Zealand is a hands-on, can-do place. We saw that spirit come to the fore yesterday in stunning news footage depicting office workers quickly forming an emergency response unit, obtaining a ladder, and commencing the rescue of a fellow worker.” As a Maori-Kiwi living in Hollywood I can’t argue with that, Maori New Zealanders kept cars on roads for decades. It’s what we did as a part of Kiwi brotherhood and nationhood in years past.

[John Key is pictured here with wife, Bronagh Key depicting Kiwi life in happier times].

At a time in the USA, where , Yahoo News that 75 have been reported dead to date, at the time of writing in Los Angeles at 8.30pm on Tuesday, 22nd January (USA).

Christchurch will be rebuilt, but it will be a very different city. Heritage buildings will have to be destroyed,” said Mr Key.

New Zealand is fortunate to have Mr Key leading at this time with such amazing politicians too, standing with him from all political parties at this time in New Zealand history, as well as Mayor Bob Parker leading resilient Christchurch people with stability and trademark Kiwi strength.

For the 176 of you who have donated to the rebuilding effort today via Horiwood.Com, thank you. You humble us with your acts of goodness. To do so, if you have not yet, go here–>Donate to Christchurch Earthquake rebuilding effort. Again, many thanks for loving and supporting my people. They are good people in Christchurch City!

He kotahitanga tatou. Kia Kaha katoa, Aotearoa New Zealand at this time.


Strength Inspiring Music Today via Hollywood thanks to Crowded House

May strength within stand strong and assuage all fear  in a time of devastation and grief. Crowded House Poetic Lyrics follow:

There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There’s a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you’ll never see the end of the road
While you’re traveling with me

Read the rest of this entry »




I am at Taupiri Bay, on the spot, here –
where surfers bob, grass bristles and

my friends the lovers kiss. We get charged
$2.00 for beach access. I want to flash

my manaia and shout ‘tangata whenua — what’s
going on here? make way!’ but we still pay

a buck in fifty cent pieces in the honesty
box. Round the corner, as we drive over

the hill, the next beach is free, which
pisses us off, and we swim there too. Every meal

is brown bread honeycomb ham cheese water
runny butter lying on your back your side

or backside then watching him swim in his
underwear or run in his underwear along the beach.

from Piki ake! Poems 1990-92 by Robert Sullivan of the Nga Puhi Iwi and good Irish stock too.
(Auckland University Press, 1993)

Pic – Kevin of Whole Food Kitchen blog goes Kingfishing in Taupiri Bay.

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 2.21.11~



Growing up in New Zealand, I worked on a dairy farm with my dad each day. It was a sunup til sundown existence in my teens with basketball and friday nights in town and rugby football at school. The weird thing about being a country-raised Kiwi kid was that your life was shaped by two realities. The key factors were the weather variables of each season, as well as, market forces of the global economy.

Maybe I’m a little sentimental, because I found this story about New Zealand farmers and their families getting a good pay check this year, to be Hollywood news worthy here in the USA.

“There has been a fundamental change in supply and demand for food internationally which has pushed prices to their current levels,” says Andrew Ferrier, dairy giant company, Fonterra’s, Chief Executive.

What this means for New Zealanders is that exports are up, where as imported food produce is a little steep. The leveler, is that the price of milk has remained the same. New Zealand has the best dairy produce on the planet. I kid you not.

Go Kiwi famers towards a good year.

Although we never get your delicious milk in our Starbucks lattes here in the US, that’s some good news for New Zealand’s rugby football obsessed farming communities and families.

Good country folk set to have a good year this year. Good news!

Believe it or not, country life, is a topic that is indie filmmaker worthy, as in this film clip of Danielle Cormack and Star Trek/ Judge Dredd’s Karl Urban starring in the film The Price of Milk. The film was a little weird, but we liked it in New Zealand.

[Pic of Andrew Ferrier, CEO of Fonterra courtesy of Life Magazine Online]

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 2.21.11~



I have a confession to make, I am perhaps the most compassionless sibling out of all the kids in my family. Most of my siblings live in Aotearoa-New Zealand. One lives in Australia.

Today I looked at this Billboard. It was way too sexy for Middle-America (joking) yet in Hollywood it strangely wasn’t. I look at these two models clinched in a sexy embrace. Her bunny teeth flanked by pumped up bee stung lips with his tattoo ink carving a Young Hollywood picture against blue California skies next to a palm tree.

This is the first billboard you’ll see when you leave my front door. Just a little bit sexy, no?

After photographing this picture of the Hollywood skyline, I get a coffee and enjoy the morning sun. I begin to think family and ‘family projects.’ I am thankful that I have such an amazing family I would love to do ‘family projects’ with.

They are sexy in different ways I think sitting opposite this billboard in warm, California winter’s sunlight, as I ponder my amazing siblings life messages to date. They cling onto things that are perhaps a little bit more important than image, like family, Read the rest of this entry »



Maori proverb – Whaia te iti kahurangi ki te tuohu koe me he maunga teitei. Search for great mountains. If one has to bow, let it be to a lofty mountain –Rotorua Boys High School motto.

According to my calculations via the Jewish calendar, we are fast approaching the 2.95 million milestone on Horiwood.Com.

Okay, I was joking about the Jewish calendar calculations, but blog stat calculations reveal that at midnight tonight Hollywood’s first website created by a Maori-Kiwi, will hit the 2.95 million benchmark.

We’ve got their together – thanks for your loyalty as a blog audience and making it happen. Kia Ora! :)

[Photography credit - Climbers at Syme Hut, Fanthams Peak, and Alpenglow at Dawn on Mt Taranaki, Taranaki, Te Ika a Maui - North Island, Aotearoa New Zealand - aerial by David Wall]

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 2.9.11~



Photo caption: Dame Whina Cooper – a grandmother, who once cloaked herself in truth and became Waitangi Day’s meaning as a leader, and who took action so the Spirit of The Treaty of Waitangi would be visible and have hands and feet and voice, when some of US were growing up. Our future to express ourselves and be ourselves depended on this woman, to do this for us. This Waitangi Day I celebrate Dame Whina Cooper and my grandparents and their generation of her ilk, feisty spirit, strong heart and fearlessness to be uniquely themselves.

1. I am thankful that my Pakeha dad overcame government policy of the day fourty-six years ago, and saw through its slanted blind-sightedness to see the beauty of my Maori mom, to court her, marry her and honor the spirit of The Treaty of Waitangi, in a real and living way based on true love.

2. I am thankful that “Kia Ora” means hello in New Zealand – and everyone knows it and can say it. Kia ora also means “thank you” and “life be to you.” The Maori language is so beautiful and is upheld and protected by law under The Treaty of Waitangi.

3. I am thankful that early Pakeha descendants of New Zealand learned the Maori language fluently, like Scotsman Robert Graham, Auckland City’s first magistrate. He set an example of Treaty-honoring living in his thought processes, life and actions for all Kiwis to emulate his example. He also was the first New Zealander to promote New Zealand to the world as a high-quality tourism destination too. Not only did he believed that New Zealand’s thermal properties were healing, or New Zealand landscapes spiritual and stunning to be in, but he also believed that Maori people and Maori culture are unique wonders of the world to be in Maori’s presence.

4. Because of the Treaty of Waitangi, New Zealanders are some of the best kaitiaki (or guardians) of environmental protection and our role as people of the earth, through what has been learned and articulated by Maori scholars, thinkers and leaders in light of Maori peoples key role as kaitiaki of landscape, place, people.

5. Because of Te Tiriti o Waitangi, New Zealanders honoring the concept of ‘Tino Rangatiratanga’ or sovereignty in one’s unique humanness towards Indigenous Maori New Zealanders; all New Zealanders have been deepened to become aware of human rights in the world – and where people’s intrinsic uniqueness is being violated by multi-national corporations, corrupt governments, or, dictators in the world. As a nation, New Zealand excels at being aware of where human rights are being breached globally. We have ‘tino rangatiratanga’ to thank for this awareness perhaps in New Zealand culture.

Read the rest of this entry »



While Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson, two top earning box office stars of 2011, canoodle for their latest Water for Elephants poster, Nicole Kidman in a rare moment, shares insights in to her decade married to Tom Cruise.

Says Nicole of their marriage, “I was never seeking to be a celebrity. But I was prepared to do that for love…It’s hard when you’re young. But I’m ready to give up anything for love, because ultimately, that is what you have.”

On damages: [via the UK Daily Mail]  ”I knew he was a really big star, but after a while, to get to a real place in a relationship, that has to wear off. As a couple we were very private. We were not out a lot and we were very, very tight and that’s why we lasted ten years, which is a good amount of time, particularly when you get married at 23. That was a great relationship. It was great,’ she adds. ‘I think it ran its course.

Nicole Kidman admits she was unsure she would ever find love again after her high profile split with Tom Cruise ten years ago.

“I was really damaged and not sure whether that was ever going to happen again to me,” Kidman reveals in this month’s UK Marie Claire magazine.

[It's a good thing Nicole is being so sweet regarding Tom, because Cruise gave Kidman a half billion dollar divorce settlement, when they'd run their course together. How could Nicole see Tom any other way. It was of the main reasons why Hollywood is still listening to Nicole Kidman at 43 share her Pearls of wisdom as a leading light of this industry town. He may get a rough deal by press, may have never won himself an Oscar either, but Tom was very fair].

On her marriage to country Kiwi star Keith Urban, Kidman says: “I’m crazy in love,” she says. “I think you can live anywhere and do anything when you’re crazy in love. I’m very driven by falling in love. I fall in love and I’ll drop everything and change everything.”

On having more babies: “More.”

[Kidman appears above in her Moulin Rouge poster with Ewan McGregor. Pics courtesy of Crabby Golity, EW Popwatch and Vanity Fair's Oscars Night photograph archives].

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 2.5.11~



American born Kiwi-Aussie babies are quite cute really. People Magazine tends to agree too. Country star Keith Urban ‘shared an iPhone photo of wife Nicole Kidman cuddling with their 5-week old daughter at Sunday’s Screen Actors Guild Awards. “She just looks like her, don’t you think?” the country star asked reporters.’

To read about quality early childcare in our news today, go here for a unique view in Te Reo Rangatira, the Maori language of New Zealand. It’s always cool to mix up our pop culture and celebrity news here in Hollywood. On this blog, we certainly do that.

Hollywood entertainment news as voted by you the people worldwide, is eclectic as always. Here’s our top ten today. Thanks everyone.

1. Kim Kardashian‘s W Magazine photo shoot returns @ no.1

2. Britney Spears sends a message of equality for Brett Miller‘s big day

3. Redemption Songs – Little Russia for Egypt

4. Halle Berry & baby Nahla shine

5. Steve Buscemi wins big for Boardwalk Empire

6. Gabriel Aubrey throws his hat in the celebrity news ring – Custody Battles

7. Empathy – A unique view – Egypt News via West Hollywood

8. Vintage Oscars Night heat – Racquel Welch

9. Paz de la Huerta‘s red carpet look could do with some style tips

10. Diversity & some smiling real faces of Young Hollywood today -2.1.11

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 2.1.11~



As I blog today in Hollywood as a Maori Kiwi farmer’s raised country kid son, there’s a lot going on to deal with. Nothing is as simple as those country days, in a Cosmopolitan City like Los Angeles.

I get texts on my phone asking for a meeting with a Romanian-American kid whose discovered paranormal activity in Laurel Canyon, beneath the house with a pyramid on top of it, currently on the market for 3.5 million, “why wouldn’t Tom Cruise buy it?’ is the gist of texting. Why I would even go, I don’t know?

I know that the founding Native American Indian tribes of California used to meet in the Laurel Canyon area each year, seasonally and theater would occur between the convergence of tribes there – where they would reenact a year’s worth of tribal stories for each other as tribes, in shared song and dance narratives.

Hollywood in a way, is an evolution, of this tradition, but technology (cinema, film, media, mobile telephony) is the preferred medium to convey this tradition in the world now from California. As I’ve already told this kid that, I don’t feel like going.

There’s always going to be paranormal activity in the Canyon, until Native American Indians are invited back to do what they always did on Hollywood Hills and Canyon landscapes, as people. It’s just what they do and should be allowed to do as a sign of genuine belief in the origins of freedom of expression of America’s founding fathers, mothers and their children. That’s where the concept of American family begins as a narrative in the USA, in a celebrated and ongoing healing process that should be honored and respected too for all of America with Native American Indians being a vital part of that.

I had suggested to the kid to meet with Indian tribes himself if he was so concerned about the increase of paranormal activity in Hollywod, to see if there was any interest in that and to meet with the Mayor of L.A too to get it going on. He had looked at me like I was a total spinner, (I have the same thought each day too at times, so that’s quite okay) but it’s certainly much better than entertaining ghosts in the canyon, I think. Far smarter.

Pyramid worship here of the rich and famous and Free Mason society types aside here, I think Indians have their place in Hollywood as people on this landscape that should be honored and respected as honoring the roots of a nation’s peace and human rights record and pathway forward. So that’s the end of the texting saga as I turn my phone off. Peace is the greatest gift of all in California. Least we get confused at to what robs America’s peace, we need to learn to turn our phones off sometimes to have it.

Beside me to the right, the blonde girl in the cowboy tartan red and black cowboy, all wool shirt (too hot for California actually), cut off denim shorts and black fishnet stockings talks the need of “boundary setting with her new boyfriend” to her ‘Personal Gay’ friend. He just nods at everything she says, like he’s a tamed poodle or something. What’s up with that brainless trend?

A Mexican Aztec fashion designer, with sharp cheekbones talks to investors in the cafe today about how far $100,000 investments could go, and where that would take them. He’s 50 with little Richard eyeliner Aztec eyes. A fierce statement in today’s Hollywood. He’s not big on ‘speaking the English,’ he’s like “You give me $100,000 and this is what you get for that.” Yet there’s no denying that he knows his stuff in the new wave of the fashion apparel business in California. He’s a modern merchant of Cali’s fashion world as perhaps best denoted by his leopard, tiger markings-fused silk printed gypsy-esque scarf worn over his Aztec Indian jewelry. The look in his eye, tells his investors, that he’s fearlessly forging ways forward in the current economy. Good for him! A discerning confident spirit.

He wears an old school biker leather jacket with the words L.O.S A.N.G.E.L.E.S in white leather down each black sleeve and plenty of jean jewelry chain accessories.

Beside and opposite me, Mandel an Orthodox brother studies up on the Torah on his laptop and my African-American brother, Jey Lawrence sits too. Jey’s dad researched in the Warren Beatty, Julie Christie and Goldie Hawn Hollywood-popular era of the 70′s, Jey’s family history. He mapped his families tribe back to the Southern Nile of Egypt, hence Jeys Egyptian key, eye, double spears, skin-shield tattoos. He is very Barack Obama-esque today (the contemporary inked version) and watches college football keeping up with the next generation of sporting talent. Of course being in Hollywood weird things happen all the time in good ways. My last Hollywood post was about the Key of Ramses II fused with the prophet Isaiah’s words. Then Jey sits right next to me, with a version of Ramses tattooed on his arm. His version does look like Obama’s face a bit, and we laugh about that, because it’s true.

In addition, Jey tells me that the Maori haka is a big trend in college football. Where football teams perform the haka (Maori war dance) before their football matches. What is even more awesome though is when the crowd of spectators respond and do it too. Jay says American footballers love Maori culture because it is an expression of warrior-hood and tribalness that defines community, that football represents here at community level. The Maori haka resonates with America’s belief of strong warrior communities.

I can’t argue with that. Maori culture and tino rangatiratanga (the spirit essence of the culture) is all about that. It does think of protecting everyone, and ensuring everyone remains strong warriors in community. The haka is a visual expression of this aesthetic in effect. The haka – when performed properly, is always spiritual. Jey loves it.

Jey has moved from personal fitness training to now doing hair. He says it’s way easier to manage. We talk the concept of ‘hair lockers.’ Where Jey points out the beautiful twenty-something blonde girls in the cafe and says most of these girls have weaves, or hair tracks on their scalps. I’m so dumb, I’m like “no way!”. He’s like, “yes, they all do. California is hair capitol of America.” When they get their hair done, their old hair they take off their heads and they save it. Hence all these girls have what is called a hair locker in their bedrooms at home.

I say, well, Hollywood American girls are sort of like Native American Indians, collecting hair in that scalping tradition way then. Jey says, “not a good example. But yes. You’re right. Half of Hollywood is like that.” We laugh. Servite Football team of California are Jey’s favorite college football team’s fans, he says do the Maori haka the fiercest. They’re also big on Scottish music too. Must check them out. Jey reminds me of my brother-in-laws Lou, once bro-in-law Matthew, Richard and Eddie who all play touch rugby football. Some internationally too. Jey most looks very similar to brotha Eddie who is half Maori of the Tainui Maori tribe and half Tongan of the South Pacific.

‘Don’t be a stranger,’ Jey says off to his next appointment. Dude is so Warren Beatty of Shampoo movie days in 1975 Oscar winning history, minus the attitude. We had a good conversation today, with his permission to share it with you. Yes, feel privileged.

On any given day you blog in a cafe in Los Angeles, such things go on all around you in the real Hollywood.

I love it.

Today Malia gets top billing (pictured above), with her Maori koru design aesthetic from Aotearoa-New Zealand etched into her Young Hollywood scalp. She’s all fierce, smart, beautiful like a skinnier version of Missy Elliott, the rapper; having biz meetings with a blonde guy from the U.K with a Cockney accent whose convincing Malia to sign with him as her photographer/ manager.

She is beautiful, confident, quietly resolute. As I ask to share her winning look back to the good people of Aotearoa-New Zealand where her I.D is inspired from, (and with you all) she smiles big, turns side on and says “Wurq it Mah-ree peoples of New Zeeeeeland.”

Like that. Let’s go America! :)

As a New Zealander, I am that American footballers and supporters do the Maori-Kiwi haka of New Zealand. Just get on a plane every now and again and head down to NZ to see it performed live every now and again, for reals from the source of culture, okay? :)

What a fun day. I feel like I hung out at Hollywood’s version of The White House – Hollywood coffee bar today. Thankfully Aotearoa, New Zealand is so in that picture too. Fun.

[Gosh, that was perhaps the longest blog post header written ever!]

Music today is laid back mellow, as I think about Hawaiian sun, South Pacific palm trees and beautiful Aotearoa beaches, while listening to the Zac Brown Band ‘s song Toes brought to US by 5 Gum, while thinking that I’ve already done our celebrity news today in this one post.

I can imagine my Maori-Samoan cousin Eileen Taogaga grooving to this at the Helensville pub today near the Kaipara, on a mom’s friday night off in the ‘big smoke’ of Helensville as good country Kiwi folk do in any tight knit rural community, with the best green grass in the world, far across the waters on opposite sides of the Pacific Ocean of Malibu as I blog, from The City of Angels today.

~Cross cultural, living tukutuku weaving art on wood created at Melrose & Spaulding. Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 1.26.11. To everyone who contributed to this moment, thanks.~