Category Archives: Not Funny


It has to be said when flipping through the WSJ’s “What’s News” section (always the best read…), that Transocean appear to have a case of corporate amnesia.

The WSJ writes “Transocean claimed the “best year in safety performance” in its history, despite the deadly explosion of its Deepwater Horizon rig.” You know… that oil slick issue, that took 11 lives. Anyway go here to read their spin. The article reads like coastal irresponsibility of titanic proportions, but hey… it’s the weekend. No one’s reading. This companies PR team, should take up creative writing. I mean… really!

In case we’ve forgotten what the word safety means, as we can be quite liberal with words and their meaning to suit our corporate selves, here in the USA, the word safety dates back to 1200AD from the word sauvete. It means:

–noun, plural -ties.

1. the state of being safe; freedom from the occurrence or risk of injury, danger, or loss. Read the rest of this entry »


[This image depicts a painting of court life in the Tang Dynasty years of Chinese rule. Women of this era looked more like Japanese Geisha's in the way they styled themselves in those days].

If I owe you interest on a loan, and make a film about one of your favorite concubines, will you write off some of my interest on the loan if I’m all cool with reducing women to a quarter of the value of equality and human rights norms as equals to men?–Antoine Fuqua shows dark humor, yet oddly cultural match in Hollywood towards China accepting a J.O.B.

Thought no.2 – When did men stop respecting their mothers, as a pseudo sense of masculinity?

HONG KONG (Hollywood Reporter via LA Times) – “Training Day” director Antoine Fuqua has signed on to direct a Chinese biopic about a legendary concubine.

The as-yet-untitled film will tell the tragic love story involving imperial consort Yang Gui Fei, one of the four famed beauties of ancient China, and 8th century Emperor Xuanzong, the longest reigning monarch of the Tang Dynasty. Their love affair has been widely celebrated by classical poets and is the subject of paintings, Chinese operas, books and television shows in the subsequent millennium.

The $30 million Chinese-language project has been in development for two years. The script is now being finalized and casting is underway. Production will begin in locations across China later this year for a targeted 2012 release.

Fuqua is also slated to direct Morgan Creek‘s Tupac Shakur biopic in late spring/early summer.

If I was to be self-righteous, I would write, whatever happened to Abraham Lincoln‘s famous words, ‘all [women] are created equal [to men]. Why is this gender inequality filmmaking rhetoric creeping in to global consciousness via Hollywood film texts production?

If I was to be a realist, I would say, King Solomon of Israel is said (it’s recorded in the bible) to have had 900 concubines in his court. He ran a Miss Universe reality TV series, with not a camera in sight. Concubines were entertainment as he courted world powers. A modern form of concubinism (without the literal concubinism occurring for reals… of course) is pop stars working for the King of their empire. When they appear, they make everyone happy (like what we see with pop stars here in the US). Yet… one must also ask…

Chinatownology notes, “Yang Gui Fei, 杨贵妃, Imperial Consort Yang or Lady Yang, was one of the four beauties of ancient China. She was born in 719 CE and her given name was Yang Yu Huan 杨玉环. Her court title was “Guifei” 贵妃, a high-ranking consort.  She is often referred to as Yang Gui Fei or Lady Yang.” Basically she married a Prince. When the marriage dissolved she was given to her father-in-law, the reigning emperor Li Longji. Such was the Emporer’s affection for her, Gui fei’s family soon leapt through the political hoops of the system, she was given hot springs in winter that were hers and lychees (her favorite fruit) where at her disposal with horses assigned to bring her them. Fruity.

“Bai Juyi, 白居易, the Tang Poet wrote the poem “Song of Everlasting Sorrow”, 长恨歌 that romanticized her love affair. The poem became very popular and continues to be recited and appreciated today. Premium quality lychees are known as the concubine smile, 贵妃笑, inspired by Lady Yang’s love of lychees. The famous Beijing opera Drunken concubine 贵妃酗酒 is based on her story.”

Back to reality in this Marilyn Monroe town of Hollywood now, Why not just rescreen The King & I with Yule Brunner as hasn’t this film been done already? Is this idea a more authentic original The King & I story? than what Hollywood turned into a hit all those years ago. In Japan Gui Fei was famous and was known from afar as being Yōkihi.

And as this is a historic fact of history, what do we learn from it? Exactly?

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 3.26.11~



Journalists strike back at Arianna Huffington‘s newfound wealth. The LA Times runs this story as commentary today.

Write it down

Re “HuffPo’s mojo,” Feb. 16

I don’t know where FOA (“friend of Arianna”) Mickey Kaus got the idea that journalists are “coddled and well paid,” but it sure won’t be with the Huffington Post in the near future.

I was a reporter for AOL‘s Patch (among others) until it decided to cut local editors’ budgets to the point that it couldn’t even pay me the tiny stipend that works out to, after interviewing, researching, fact checking, formatting, photographing and, oh yes, writing, something like $10 an hour.

Huffington wants to reach a larger audience? Great. But she is going to get the quality of journalism that she pays for. (Yeah, I know — a dangling preposition. But I can’t afford to take the time to rewrite.)

Melonie Magruder

North Hollywood

I don’t know if Melonie will still have a job after this round of honesty in the LA Times, but don’t shoot the messanger. The honest words of the honest American worker should stand beneath all of these tales of media online moguls are spun, like they’re all “wowsa.” Slave labor is never cool, beneath these glamorized tales of millionaire ‘success’ stories of IT. A lot of millionaires are being made through aggregating writers words. No one’s really commenting about that. Aggregation is something I get caught up in too, in the information media sharing game, but it’s not write, for moguls to not pay out, once they make bank.

Perhaps Melanie needs to start her own news website instead of work for AOL via Arianna. Just a thought.

At least we know what an FOA is though, here in the US. That was new information.

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 2.21.11~

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Posted by horiwood on February 21, 2011 in Arianna Huffington, California, Not Funny



It has to be said that Ricky Gervais p*ssed a lot of people off last night at The Golden Globes. For example, he dissed Cher for her age and introduced Hollywood box office heavyweight Bruce Willis as “Ashton Kutcher‘s dad.”

In a way, before we all get charmed by the Brits this year on April 29th with Will and Kate‘s royal wedding, that many predict will be the most watched piece of happy television, this decade–I guess Ricky being described as a “polarizing host” by the LA Times–gives everyone in America a chance to spit tacks at a British twack, a little –before the big upcoming televised moment. That seems only fair.

When spicing up TV ratings next year, means offending people this year in the age of social media and televised Awards shows media and entertainment culture–the only main winner we already know is going to be –where everyone will natter on about Ricky’s remarks for days.

I like what Tom Hanks said about Ricky, how he knew him when he was “chubbier and a kind comedian” where tonight, he is “neither of those two things.” Lol! Ricky did give American audiences The Office TV show and created a vehicle for Steve Carell to shine as an American home name entertainer, so in a way he is a dad of American culture, not just a UK prat. But gosh – he was full on!

Here’s the advertisement, from a week ago heading into the Globes from L.A Weekly. As you can see, the ad features a cuban cigar smoking Ricky with a warning: “Prepare for Global Warming.” Crikey! Yep! He sure lived up to this ad. Not a good advertisement for atheists but as my dad says: “Wild fire is better than no fire.” Ricky was tots wild verging on maniacal disturbia last night.

Ricky now has the cart blanche card to say ‘nice things’ and everyone thinks he’s made personal growth from this point forward. Kind of clever really. And why does almost ‘everything’ have to be positioned as ‘polarized’ before it’s seen as cutting edge topic-worthy here in the US? We have Rush Lim-whatever his name is, getting way too much exposure on radio playing the same tactics. It’s a bit of an overrated snoozefest sometimes here–from people who are actually quite boring, earning way too much money, playing the ‘polarizing rhetoric card.’ Someone needs to call guys like Ricky and Rush out on this over-pampered-veneer. Oops, I just did.

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 1.17.11~