Horiwood's Blog

Heidi Montag’s playboy pics are the third most  sought after topic of interest on internet search engines in America today.

Who ever thought that Heidi Montag in a bikini could cause the specialized field of Search Engine Optimization to skyrocket like this today, with Heidi Montag’s name (brand and branding) on the world wide web? Not me.

I was reading Star Magazine today and in its pages, Star jokes about what the name of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s first child should be. The Magazine listed names like Dollar  and Hustle as  an appropriate name for the shameless couples’ firstborn.

That’s a bit harsh. But I did like Hustle for their  baby’s name. It’s so  LA and definitely so what Heidi and Spencer are about, using their reality TV show, The Hills, to actually sell themselves in any way, shape of form (like Heidi’s  breast implants in a bikini on the cover, for example), to make their first $10 million.  

The fact that Heidi is the #3 most searched for topic out of any hobby, interest, person, news item, government policy, health care reform issue, stem cell research development topic, or the future of  graphene powered energy; or any  major event in America today — just shows that her hustle is working. She’s blitzed America today with her Playboy campaign. Republicans should be proud of her. Heidi Montag for most famous GOP member today.

Oh, btw: for those of you outside of America, the GOP are the conservative lot. Can you see this in  Heidi’s Playboy pics today? Yes, of course you can.. (not!) They are also  the gay bashers and the uber-racists of America, but that whole hater ‘tude can tend to go hand in hand with Playboy covers and pics,  like these.

It’s  the flip side of  over obsessive conservatives. Balance and grace is desperately needed.

Looking at  the positive aspect though (If  there is one!), I like the way Heidi “tastefully” only appears in her bikini. She’s not topless or  completely naked. The mud smeared all over her makes reference to the time she got sick to the point of vomiting and she was crying  her eyeballs  out in shock and distress, stranded in the dirty jungles of Costa Rica when she was appearing in the I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here reality TV series.

I still can’t believe that all  internet users of America’s 330 million people base, are mainly looking for Heidi today. She needs to do  ’a Lauren Conrad’ about now, while she has such a huge audience interested in her at this second and write a book next. Lauren’s book, LA Candy is a New York Time’s Best Seller.

Writing a book is so much smarter than doing a Playboy cover. But the truth is, sadly, Heidi is probably making more money than Lauren’s book sales of LA Candy, with Heidi’s Playboy cover appearance fee. More spreads like this will follow. As Lady  Gaga sings “Dirty Rich” is the name of Young Hollywood in the Fame Game. It may not be right, but that’s  what these girls know is what’s really going on. They’re cashing in, while they’re young.

It makes me annoyed, that smart girls like  Lauren Conrad, who do the right thing, don’t always get  rewarded. They should. Dirty girls get rewarded. This is America. It’s human nature, blown out of proportion to extremes.

You just know that Heidi and Spencer are going to be photographed sitting in Church next month, with Heidi buttoned up to her neck in some colonial styled outfit for a month of Sundays.

But for this month, the newlywed  Pratts  are happy to be looking dirty. It’s paying. Spencer Pratt is such a pimp. He is not a husband.  If  Heidi is smart she will put  her Playboy check in a trust fund, for Dollar Pratt and Hustle Pratt’s therapy. (I say Dollar AND Hustle together because, you just know these two fame whores are going to have twins by  IVF as their first birth experience  as parents).

Twins will get them more exposure, and Heidi will probably have them by surrogate mother too, as she doesn’t want to ruin her bikini body, while she shoots more bikini covers.

If Heidi does put her Playboy check in a trust fund for her kids, she will ensure that Spencer can’t touch the money that Heidi, mainly, makes. You know it. That’s what’s really going on in this marriage as these pics clearly show.

[Horiwood.Com is an entertainment news site reporting news from Hollywood. Heidi Montag's Playboy pics are the third biggest news story in America today, as at 8.16.09. Pardon the embellishments! ]